July 19, 2024


The Scalar Comet is currently OPEN for submissions. We are reviewing every week from now until June 2024. 

General Guidelines:

We accept submissions for general satire, satirical news, and humorous essays. We appreciate submissions that go beyond the present and the past. We like extraterrestrial, multiversal, pushing into the spiritual, some news about your breakfast, or news about your hair, some news about your kinsman, or news about the economy. We also like cartoons and poetry.   

Some other things we like; reviews of real and imaginary products, personality profiles, open letters, and short imagined monologues.

Requirements and word/page limits:

  • We prefer around 1,​500 words or less.​ For news pieces especially, the best count is around 300–800 words.
  • We enjoy illustrated and multi-panel cartoon pieces, as well as single panel gags. 
  • Submissions must be an original, unpublished work, written by the submitter.
  • Submissions must be in English.
  • Submission must be a .pdf or pasted into email. Toons can come in JPG or PNG.
  • Please avoid complex formatting as it would be difficult to reproduce on our site.
  • Please send submissions via email to submit[at]scalarcomet.com
  • The email subject should be the title of the submission.
  • The email body should have the following information:
    • Submission Title  
    • Author’s name 
    • Twitter handle [optional]
    • Bio [optional]
  • Only send one submission at a time. We will try our very best to respond within 2 weeks and then you can submit again. Please only submit again AFTER you have received a response on your last submission.
  • Simultaneous submissions are accepted. If you publish your piece elsewhere, please inform us as soon as possible.
  • Please do not submit things that are racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or transphobic.
  • Seasonal and Holiday timely pieces are partly encouraged. If you are sending a topical piece based on the current news cycle, we recommend topics that will remain in the news for at least the next six months, preferably six years. It is advisable to consult with a soothsayer in this scenario.


There are no submission fees for our online publication and submissions are currently unpaid (subject to change soon, hopefully). We will begin paying our contributors once we have reached our Patreon Level 2 goals and will continue to do so as long as we are above that goal level.


You retain rights to your work after publication. Your published work will be housed in our internet archives in perpetuity, and we may re-post a link to your piece on our social media sites from time-to-time.


We are still developing plans for a monthly or quarterly print issue, to be announced later 2023. For now, we are digital only.